What I've learned and what I look forward to in this new chapter:
Dear Diary,
Over the last few months, the thought of turning 25 was pretty daunting to me. Despite all of the accomplishments I've made this year, I still felt lost and like I wasn't where I wanted to be. Dare I say, where I "needed" to be. I think dealing with post-grad depression had a major part in those feelings, but I'll get into that in another post.
It wasn't until November that things began to lighten up a bit and the thought of 25 became more pleasant. I started to take more steps towards being mindful about how I view and care for myself. To give some context, I have this bad habit where I can get so hung up on what I don't have when things aren't turning out the way I want them to. I get into this spiral of negativity instead of appreciating the good that I have already—in me and in front of me. After some time of sorting through my feelings, I had to learn to get back into a place of gratitude. I'm a big believer of taking the time to feel your emotions, and giving yourself the grace to do so. Things take time, but since time waits for no one, I had to make a plan of action to get myself back into a better place. Of course, I have to thank my friends for being a part of that journey with me. Especially for reassuring me and inspiring me with ways to take charge of this new age.
With that being said, HELLO TWENTY-FINE! Let me put y'all on to some things I've learned in my last chapter. The last four years was about finding myself and trusting my gut. I can say that this year was a prolongation of that as well as a plethora of other lessons. While I continue to discover myself and learn to love every bit of it, I plan to share the journey with those close to me and on PLANET BG.
One thing I've learned is that the world doesn't owe me a thing. No matter how I feel about my past and the challenges I face, I owe it to myself to be happy and to create the life I dream of. I really am the master of my own universe. I have the power to make my life beautiful. I want be in a place where I wake up every morning looking forward to life, work, meeting new people, and learning new things. Building that dream life requires me to be tenacious, resilient, patient, wise, and disciplined along with other character traits I'd need to master.
I've learned that being able to adapt to change is important. Life is bound to throw some curveballs and I can't allow unexpected challenges to push me into a state of fear. It's funny because I'm someone who's spontaneous and always down for impromptu moments. Yet, when situations that affect things surrounding my livelihood occur, I panic. I still do from time to time, and dealing with anxiety doesn't make things any easier. Nonetheless, I've learned that the only way to overcome that fear is by shifting my perspective on unexpected change and embracing it with open arms.
Fisayo Longe once wrote her blog,
"Excuses can only be valid for so long and—in the end, I have to take responsibility for every aspect of my life."
When I'm older, I don't want to be that person that always talks about what they could have been and give a number of reasons as to why it didn't happen. With the life that I see for myself, it's going to take lots of character development and overcoming challenges. Accepting that reality, I now choose to slow down, keep faith, and show gratitude for the things that I do have. I also make sure to continue building my relationship with God. When I make it a habit to pray and meditate, I feel more confident in my ability to overcome anything.
I've learned that I have to give others grace and to not take things personally—unless it's clear that it's personal, of course. Everyone is going through their own battles and not everyone has learned to communicate when the going gets tough. Some people choose to lash out while others choose to isolate themselves until things get better. On the same note, not everyone does the self-work to be better for themselves and their loved ones. Yes, some people can be intentionally cruel, but there are also others who are so disconnected from reality and genuinely don't understand how their actions affect you. There are even those that do understand how their actions affect others, but are too intimidated by the work and vulnerability to hold themselves accountable. At the end of the day, every person's story is different, and every person's past affects them differently. I've learned that I can be gracious with others and still create healthy boundaries in order to protect my peace.
Lastly, I've learned that you can get through anything when you have a great support system. I'm someone who grew up learning to things on my own. I haven't always been the best with asking for help and I have a bad habit of waiting until the very last minute to reach out. I know where it stems from, but I had to realize that it's a form of self-sabotage and that it's okay to ask for help. Especially when there are people around that are willing to show up for you when needed. One thing is for sure, and that's that closed mouths don't get fed. Staying silent when you know you need help or even just a break is a negative sense of martyrdom and a recipe for disaster. I'm human and I can only do so much by myself.
It's almost like that saying, "If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together." My friends push me to go far and fuel me with energy to do so. I love that I can depend on them to be a shoulder to lean on when I'm not in best spirits. Most of all, I love that we share the same values and inspire each other to reach for the stars.
Now that I've reached 25, here are the top five things I'm looking forward to:
I really want to show myself how far I can go doing the businesswoman thing, so I have some new projects that I'm really excited to share. I look forward to sharing different aspects of myself and putting y'all on to how versatile I can be.
I look forward to creating more artwork—digital illustrations, paintings, and photography. I'm hoping to enter my work into an art exhibit or even possibly host my own art show.
One thing I love to do is travel. Whether it be to the city, a new city, or a new country I enjoy being in different spaces where I can meet new people, try new foods, and have new experiences. So, I look forward to going out more—traveling, solo-dates, and hanging with friends.
Speaking of dates, I look forward to dating more. I ended a long-term relationship last year and I've been using this year to find myself again. Prior to that relationship, I was very casual when it came to intimacy and didn't put much intention behind dating. As I date myself in this new chapter, I want to dip my toes in the dating pool and learn more about what I like and don't like in an ideal partner.
I look forward to taking better care of my body. One thing I've always struggled with is my weight and I haven't always been the best with working out or dieting. I want 25 to be about intentional self-care and discipline. I know I have what it takes to build a healthy routine, so I look forward to manifesting what that looks like for me.
There's still few weeks left in this year, so I plan to end it with good intentions. I've already planned my goals for next year and eventually will make my vision board to top it all off. I look forward to 2023 and everything that it has in store. I hope you do too!
To a new chapter 🥂
With love,
BG
xxx
Comments